Rediscovering Life After 40, "The Pressure, the Grief, and the Comeback"

 Rediscovering Yourself After 40: Embracing Change and New Beginnings  

In this heartfelt episode of 'Top Down Heart Open,' host Kimberly Maturin dives into the unique journey of rediscovery faced by women over 40. She challenges societal expectations of having it all figured out by a certain age and emphasizes the importance of embracing change and starting anew. Kimberly shares personal insights and encourages listeners to find their true selves amidst life's transitions, whether it's after motherhood, marriage, or career changes. Tune in for honest conversations, inspiration, and a reminder that it's never too late to live the life you choose.  

00:00 Episode 3: Rediscovering Life After 40, "The Pressure, the Grief, and the Comeback"  

00:32 Introduction and Welcome  

01:32 The Identity Crisis After 40  

03:22 Breaking Free from Society's Timeline 

 05:24 Small Steps to Rediscovery  

08:09 Rewriting the Rules  

09:35 Announcements and Next Episode Preview 

Chapters

• 0:32 Introduction & Welcome
• 1:32 The Identity Crisis After 40
• 3:22 Breaking Free from Society's Timeline
• 5:24 Small Steps to Rediscovery
• 8:09 Rewritting the Rules
• 9:35 Announcements & Next Episode Preview

Transcript

Episode 3: Rediscovering Life After 40, "The Pressure, the Grief, and the Comeback" 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: [00:00:00] Welcome to “Top Down Heart Open” a podcast for women in the magic middle, navigating what is next with the wind in their hair and their hearts wide open. Here we talk about starting over, rediscovering ourselves, new adventures, and living life on our own terms. It's about finding your voice and living fully, even when it's uncomfortable. 

No filters, no perfection, just honest conversations.  

Introduction and Welcome 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: I am your host, Kimberly Maturin, and I'm on a journey to rediscover life. Love, freedom, and joy. I'm not a celebrity, nor am I an expert. I am a woman navigating this magic middle of life. One step at a time, one open road at a time. If you are ready for real talk, fresh starts and learning how to dream again, you're in the right place because life isn't [00:01:00] over. 

It's just changing, and so are we. I'm so glad you're here. Buckle up. The next chapter is waiting. Welcome back to “Top Down Heart Open” where we have the honest conversations women don't always get to have, especially after 40. Episode three is all about rediscovering yourself after 40, not starting over, not wiping the slate clean, but finding you that has been buried under years of schedules, caregiving, and expectations. 

The Identity Crisis After 40 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: This one's heavy and real. Today we're talking about something I know a lot of us carry quietly after spending decades of being someone's, everything. The mom, the wife, the caregiver, the fixer, the scheduler, the snack packer, appointment maker, the keeper of the glue, and then one day [00:02:00] the kids grow up. Or the marriage shifts or ends, and you wake up, look in the mirror and think, who am I if I'm not needed in that same way anymore? 

It's a quiet grief one that doesn't always have a name, but it sits in your chest like a question mark. This space is where we name it. 

Where we honor it and we remind each other. Losing an identity doesn't mean losing yourself. It means making space for the version of you that's been waiting, you're standing at the start of something new. And let's be honest, the world tells women over 40 that by now we should have it all figured out. 

But what if 40 isn't the finish line? What if it's a moment in time to rediscover, redefine, and reclaim your life after [00:03:00] 40 or any age? What if it's actually the restart? 

 In this episode, we'll talk about the cultural pressure to have it all together. 

The quiet grief of losing your identity after motherhood or marriage. And the beautiful, sometimes messy process of coming back to you. 

Breaking Free from Society's Timeline 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: There is this solid pressure on women over 40. We grow up being told there is this invisible timeline, a career by 25, marriage by 30 kids. Soon after. 

And by now we're supposed to know exactly who we are. Have the career figured out, be done raising the kids, have our bodies under control. Keep a Pinterest perfect house, have no doubts, no debt, no dreams. We have not already achieved. 

 And by 40 you should have it all. The home, the partner, [00:04:00] the wellbehaved kids, a skincare routine, and that good old signature casserole. The world expects us to hold it all together while barely giving us the space to hold ourselves. And if we don't, we are made to feel behind lost like we've failed. 

But here's what I want to say. 

Loud and clear. That's a lie. I'm going to repeat it again. That's a lie. But here's the truth. No one says out loud. Many of us are figuring it out as we go you are not behind. You are not lost. You are in progress and reinvention. It's allowed at any age. I turned 40 and did not feel done. I felt like I was just starting to wake up. My kids were growing up and suddenly I had this space. This [00:05:00] quiet, uncomfortable space that whispered there's more, more to learn, more to become more to experience. 

For me, that looks like podcasting. Jeep rides talking out loud for you, it might look completely different, and that's the point. 

Small Steps to Rediscovery 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: I started small. I started riding with the top down, the windows open, just listening to myself for once I started this podcast. And this podcast is not about perfection. It's about presence 

 in that first solo coffee shop visit where you sit without guilt. In the voice memo, you record just to hear yourself again  

in that one Jeep ridd with the top down when the wind is louder than your thoughts and those small [00:06:00] steps, they changed everything. I stopped asking permission to explore what I liked, and I started trying. 

So maybe you're not launching a podcast or climbing into a Jeep. Maybe your new start is just picking up a paintbrush, going back to school, simply saying no. For the first time in your life, starting over at 40, 50, 60, it doesn't mean you failed. It means you lived. It means you're wise enough now to stop chasing what wasn't real. 

It means you're ready to live a life you choose. Not the one that was assigned to you. Rediscovery doesn't happen in a day. It happens in small, almost invisible moments. 

 This journey it's not about reinventing yourself into something brand new. It's about returning to what's always been there. But [00:07:00] maybe got pushed aside. And yes, it's going to be messy. Sometimes you'll second guess you'll cry. You'll wonder if it's too late. But let me tell you something, it's not too late. 

You're not too late. You're not too old, you're not lost. It’s finally your turn. 

Whatever it is, it matters and it's never too late. Let's normalize the idea. That life doesn't peak in your thirties. That clarity sometimes comes after the chaos, and that pressure to have it all together is a myth. We no longer have to keep chasing. 

 You don't need to be perfectly healed, totally certain or wildly confident.  

You just need to be open. Open a curiosity. Open a change open to giving yourself the same love and chances that you've given to everyone [00:08:00] else. And maybe just maybe starting over isn't actually starting over. It's starting with everything you've learned so far. 

Rewriting the Rules 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: Look, ladies, gentlemen, too, we need to normalize it by saying it out loud. Let's be real. The idea that we're supposed to have it all figured out by 40, 45 or even 30 is a lie. It's a storyline we've inherited, not one that we wrote, and it's time to rewrite it. 

Who decided that messy meant failure, that changing your mind meant you’re lost. That taking a break meant your weak. Those are old rules, and we are not living by them anymore. 

We need to replace things with a new standard. What if having it all together actually means knowing when to rest, when to ask for help, [00:09:00] when to start over and when to say, I don't know, but I'm figuring it out.  

 We have got to take the pressure off ourselves. If this episode gave you a nudge today, here is how to keep it going. Follow on this podcast so we can keep doing this together. Share this episode with a friend who is feeling stuck or unsure. Come connect with me on Instagram at top down, hard open. Let's talk about the bold, messy, beautiful magic of starting again. 

Announcements and Next Episode Preview 

Kimberly Poirier-Maturin: Email me top down, hard open@gmail.com. Over the next couple weeks, we'll be working behind the scenes on something special. Our brand-new interactive website is on the way. It'll be a space to subscribe to newsletters, read blog updates, connect better with each other, and submit ideas for upcoming episodes. And that's not all, shout out. Segments are coming. Wanna be featured on the podcast? 

[00:10:00] Tag me on social or shoot me an email. You might hear your name in a future episode. And get a little surprise merch from us too. We have some all new segments that are going to be coming soon. How are you overcoming budget, travel tips, real talks and moments of breakthrough when friendships shift and motherhood change, volunteer ideas, second act stories of new careers going back to school, and this is just the beginning I couldn't do it without you. 

Thanks for being a part of top down, hard open community. We're not just building a podcast; we're building a movement. 

 Please be sure to tune in for episode four. You don't want to miss this one. My very first podcast guest is joining me and it's someone extra special, my son. We are sitting down for some real talk about what it was like when I first said I'm starting a podcast. No filters, no fluff, just an honest conversation about how it felt for the family, the support, the doubts, the laughs, [00:11:00] and what the journey has meant to both of us. 

Get ready to hear it from another side, the home team perspective. Well, that's it for us today. Please share with friends who are navigating this magic middle wherever you are today. Take a deep breath and remember, it's never too late to rediscover yourself, to dream your dreams, and to live the life you were meant for. 

Take a deep breath, roll those windows down and keep your heart open. You are exactly where you're meant to be. This is our road now. And we don't have to drive it alone. Thank you so much for listening until next time. [00:12:00]  

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This podcast "Top Down, Heart Open" and website represents the opinions of Kimberly Poirier-Maturin, and her guests to the show and website. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information we are sharing is accurate, we welcomeany comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. 

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Soundstripe (tracks used in Broadcast) 

 
      Track Title: Sunshine Drive 
      Artist Name(s): LNDO 
      Writer Name: Landon Bailey 
      Writer IPI Number: 805181264 
      Publisher Name: Boss Soundstripe Productions 
      Publisher IPI Number: 886235500 
      |  
      Track Title: Magical oomerang 
      Artist Name(s): Wayfair 
      Writer Name: Aaron Sprinkle 
      Writer IPI Number: 179772610 
      Publisher Name: Boss Soundstripe Productions 
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